How to handle hitting, biting, and other 'big body' behaviour

They’re sweet.

They’re cuddly.

And then - smack.

Bite.

Push.

Meltdown with limbs flailing.

You’re left wondering: Where did that come from? Did I do something wrong? Is this normal??

Take a deep breath.

Big body behaviour like hitting, biting, throwing, pushing - is normal.

And it’s especially common in toddlers and preschoolers whose bodies are growing faster than their emotional regulation skills.

Here’s what’s really going on and what you can do in the moment (and over time).

Why it happens (and no, it’s not because they’re “naughty”)

1. Their brain isn’t finished yet.

The part of the brain that controls impulse and emotion (i.e. the prefrontal cortex) is still very much under construction until their mid-20s. Toddlers and young kids literally can’t stop themselves sometimes, even if they know they shouldn’t.

2. They don’t have the words yet.

Big actions often come from big feelings like frustration, fear, overstimulation, excitement and no clear way to say them.

3. They’re testing what works.

It’s not manipulative, it’s developmental. They’re learning what gets attention, what causes a reaction, and how the world responds.

4. Their body is doing the talking.

Some kids are sensory-seeking. Some feel things deeply and physically. Some are tired, hungry, or out of routine. The hitting isn’t the problem, it’s the signal.

What to do in the moment

1. Stay calm or fake it hard.

Your calm response regulates theirs. Easier said than done, we know, but you’re the pilot in this turbulence.

2. Block or prevent the action (safely).

Gently hold their hand, move between them and another child, or scoop them up if needed. Say clearly: “I won’t let you hit. I’m here to keep everyone safe.”

3. Label the feeling, not just the behaviour.

“You’re really mad. You wanted the truck. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to hit.”

4. Offer an alternative

• “You can stomp your feet.”

• “Let’s squeeze this cushion.”

• “Show me with your words.”

  
  

5. Don’t demand an apology on the spot

Focus on emotional regulation first. Reflection and repair come after the storm, not mid-lightning strike.

What to do over time

• Practice naming feelings during calm moments (books, play, drawing)

• Model self-regulation (“I feel frustrated, so I’m taking a breath”)

• Rehearse alternatives with puppets, play, or “what could we do instead?” games

• Give them safe outlets for big movement e.g. trampoline time, running, climbing

• Reduce overstimulation where possible - less noise, fewer transitions, earlier wind-downs

When to look deeper

Most big body behaviour fades with development, boundaries, and support.

But if it’s:

• Extremely frequent or intense

• Causing injury

• Not improving with support

• Making daycare or social settings hard to navigate

…chat with a paediatrician or child development specialist. No shame. Just insight.

How Yawn helps

In the moment: Yawn can help you respond calmly, give you words to say, or offer a quick reframe so you don’t lose it yourself.

Over time: Yawn tracks patterns, tailors advice to your child’s age and temperament, and helps you decide when to act, wait, or get extra support.

No judgement. No one-size-fits-all scripts. Just grounded, real support from your digital co-parent.

Because hitting is common. And support should be too.