What to do when your toddler is losing it?

You know the moment.

You reach for the blue socks. You thought they were the right ones. But no. They're too blue. Not blue enough. Not stripy. Too stripy. Somehow, your entire morning is now derailed by socks and your toddler is having a Category 5 meltdown.

You’re not alone. And you’re not raising a tiny tyrant.

You’re raising a toddler with big feelings and zero chill. The rough truth is that it’s developmentally normal, completely exhausting, and sometimes a little funny (once you’ve had coffee and time).

So what’s actually happening?

Your toddler’s brain is working hard on identity, control, and communication, but the regulation part? Still under construction.

In other words:

They have opinions now. But not the language or impulse control to handle when things don’t go their way (like when they didn't want sauce on that nugget).

It’s not about socks, or sauce, or how you cut their sandwich. It’s about control.

These kinds of meltdowns are rarely about the thing itself. They’re often about:

• Feeling out of control

• Being rushed or overstimulated

• Needing connection or co-regulation

• Or simply being a toddler… and it’s Tuesday (eye roll emoji moment, right?!)

 What you can do in the moment:

1. Pause. Breathe. Lower your voice and your shoulders. Toddlers feed off our energy. A calm tone helps bring them down (eventually — not instantly).

2. Name what’s happening. “You really wanted the dotty socks. It’s so frustrating when things aren’t how you want.” Even if they scream louder, this helps them feel seen.

3. Offer a small choice. Not “do you want socks or not?” but “blue ones or stripy ones?” it gives them back a sense of control. Toddler brains seem to handle choosing between two things, not more. Don't make that mistake like I did.

4. Hold the boundary (if needed). It’s okay to say, “I hear you. It’s hard. These are the socks we have today.” Calm, kind, firm. Repeat as needed.

5. Move on gently. Offer a cuddle. Sing a song. Change rooms. Toddlers reset faster than you think — once they feel safe.

And what to do long-term:

• Build routines that reduce overwhelm (predictability is gold).

• Give choices early and often (even if you don’t care which one they pick).

• Expect these moments, they’re not failures. They’re just part of the gig.

And if you’re ever thinking “Is this normal?”, “Is it just me?”, or “What do I even say right now?” that’s what Yawn is for. Not a plug, just a fact. Because parenting a toddler is a wild ride. You shouldn’t have to do it without a pit crew.