How to feel like 'myself' again after having kids

At some point, you might realise you’re not just tired... you’re unrecognisable.

You don’t know what music you like anymore.

You pause before answering “What do you do for fun?”

You can’t remember the last time you made a decision that was just for you.

And it’s not because you don’t love your kids. It’s because you paused yourself to keep someone else alive. And now you want to feel like 'myself' again after having kids.

If you’re ready to start finding your way back - gently, honestly, without adding more to your to-do list. Here’s how to begin.

Step 1: Stop waiting to feel like “your old self”

You might never feel like the old you again.

And maybe that’s okay because that version of you didn’t know what you know now.

Instead of aiming for a full personality reboot, ask:

“What parts of me do I want to bring forward into this new chapter?”

Step 2: Reclaim your puzzle pieces

Start small. Think:

• “I used to love podcasts. I’ll start with one episode while I walk.”

• “I used to sketch. Maybe I do that once a week, even badly.”

• “I miss feeling strong, Maybe I stretch for 10 minutes instead of scrolling.”

This isn’t about adding pressure. It’s about remembering there’s still a you in here, not just a parent.

Step 3: Ask better questions

Instead of “Who am I now?” (which feels too big), try:

• “What made me feel most like me today?”

• “What used to light me up, and what’s the smallest way I could tap into that again?”

• “What would I do right now if no one needed anything from me?”

• “If I had 5% more control, what would I change?”

That’s where your identity starts to rebuild.

Step 4: Share what’s real

Reconnection doesn’t happen in isolation even though parenting feels isolating sometimes.

Send a text to someone who gets it.

Start a group chat about “things we loved before kids.”

Say, “I’m trying to figure out who I am outside of parenting - you too?”

That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.

Step 5: Let Yawn hold the mental load while you reclaim your spark

Yawn can’t tell you what your passion is (umm... feature request?) But it can take some of the chaos off your plate.

Use it for:

• Real-time answers so you spend less time Googling and more time breathing

• Gentle nudges to reframe guilt and overwhelm

• Emotional regulation tips for you, not just your toddler

• Reminders that you’re still in here and you’re doing better than you think

Because finding yourself again doesn’t require a gap year.

It starts with one good question, one kind choice, one moment of space.