New dad, big feelings: adjusting to being the go-to parent

You thought the biggest challenge would be the nappy changes or the night feeds. Turns out, it’s the emotional load... the constant decisions, the second-guessing, the realisation that you’ve become the default parent.

Maybe it’s because you’re home more. Maybe you’ve stepped up in a way your own dad never did. Maybe you just want to be the one who’s there.

Whatever the reason, if you’re the go-to parent now, you’re probably feeling a lot. And not enough people talk about that.

Being the “primary” isn’t just logistics

It’s being the one your baby reaches for when they’re tired.

It’s knowing where the favourite cup is, how long it’s been since the last poo, and which toy makes them calm down in the car.

It’s carrying the mental load of nap timings, daycare updates, growth spurts, and tantrum patterns while still trying to hold onto some sense of yourself.

It’s not just doing more. It’s thinking more. And it can be heavy.

So why does it feel weird?

Because you probably didn’t see this modelled.

You might be the first dad in your circle to take on a more hands-on parenting role. And with that comes pride and pressure.

You might feel:

• Grateful, but stretched

• Competent, but still overlooked

• Deeply bonded, but sometimes resentful

• Like you “shouldn’t complain” because this is what you signed up for

All of that is real. And none of it means you’re doing it wrong.

Some reminders for the ride

• You’re allowed to need support Being the go-to doesn’t mean being solo. Ask for help. You’re not less of a dad for doing so.

• You’re not invisible — even if it feels that way sometimes The world hasn’t quite caught up to how many dads are really parenting. But that doesn’t make your experience less valid.

• You’re allowed to feel the feelings The pride. The pressure. The frustration. The joy. All of it. You’re building something powerful and that comes with layers.

And when you need backup?

Ask Yawn.

You’ve got instincts. You’ve got the presence. And now? You’ve got a sidekick, too.